How To Survive In Equestria: Dark Sector Edition
by Dark Sector
Summary: Hello there, have you ever wanted a survival guide to help you live peacefully in a new world? Well, you are not going to get it in this guide. This will tell you what to avoid and not to avoid...mostly. Actually, it is just a bunch of f**king instructions that will make your life an...interesting one. If you want my help, go ahead... (2nd POV and Pony-bashing) M for reasons.


**Hey guys, Dark Sector here. The story, The Hated, will have to be put on hold for now. Sorry. But I have another idea. What would you say if I tell you that there is a guide on how to survive in Equestria? No? Well, screw you I made one anyways. So enjoy the story. (may be on 2nd POV)**

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Chapter 1:Welcome to Rainbowland.

Hello there, I am known as Dark Sector, the one who wrote this-oh for fuck's sake, **WAKE UP!** You jump out of your bed thinking, "what the fuck?". Now that I got your damn attention, put on some clothes. Do your usual shit, and go outside. Go to the left side of a XXX shop (don't ask) you will find a dead body, frisk it. In her back pocket, there is a rainbow colored pocket knife. Open it and say these words clearly: "By the name of the Anti-Brony Federation, take me to motherfucking Equestria so that I can follow these instructions and do his bidding."

The knife should flash a lot of colors and if it didn't, kill yourself with it. You will pass out in 3...2...1...

_*thump*_

Oh well,...okay.

_*A series of flashes and sparks enough to give a massive seizure later*_

You wake up (again) in a strange place. The sky is partly cloudy, you're in a forest, and it's going to be a sunny day! And you know what that means? You are in Equestria! Where the ponies roam the land, constant rape seasons happening, and-"WHAT!" ,you will yell. You may be thinking, why in the name of hell did I 'tricked' you into sending you into a gayass land? Well buddy, I didn't trick you into sending you to here, you happen to follow my instructions. Not your best day, I know. I happen to feel that way too. Now that you are in a new world, you have to depend on my instructions to survive and yes, I happen to know everything about this place, so don't you worry.

First, you have to get out of the Everfree forest, it can fuck you in all corners. After like what? 2 hours? Of walking, you will find a hut. Fucking avoid it at all costs. Why? I don't know, it creeps me the fuck out. Find a dirt path, walk on it. You will find a village named Ponyville built by...ponies. What the fuck...

Walk into the village like you don't give a single fuck in the world. Take note on how these ponies look at you. Fear and awe is the look at their faces.(dumbass) If they look at you saying; "I want to fuck your brains out." Well...I...I must've sent you during rape season.

...

It's not rape season dumbass so calm down.

The first thing you need to find is a library. It is called (I cannot believe I'm saying this) Golden Oaks Library. As you walk over there, a pink mare pops out of nowhere. "Hi! mynameispinkiepieandwelcometoponyvillewhatareyouareyousomekindof-" Oh my god, shut the fuck up! Then, she gasps and ran off like hell on fucking wheels (no kidding). Her name is Pinkie Pie, gay I know but, you have to get used to the fact that ponies will have gayass names. Just a reference in the future. You have arrived at the Library, knock on the door. The door opens and a purple unicorn will appear. her eyes should widen, drags you in and asks you a shit-ton of questions.

Answer them but, keep in mind that you have to limit yourself on how you answer them like for example, don't fucking give out any scrap of technology that humans have or God help me I will tear you limb from limb got it? Good.

Then, 5 ponies will bust in and look for you. A pony with a rainbow mane and tail will tackle you and starts to ask questions.

Then, an orange pony lassoes her off of you and you get up. Do NOT attack them or they will assume you are hostile.

The cyan bitch is Rainbow Dash. (gay, I know) She is known for being the Element of Loyalty. Oh, and she is probably known for being gay. Don't ask because i don't know either .

The orange pony is Applejack and she is the Element of Honesty. By that, I mean she can tell who's lying and who's not. Luckly for you, I took the liberty to infect you with a virus that resists such things like, magic, communism, and such other unimportant things.

The yellow one is Fluttershy and she is the Element of Kindness. For the love of anything that's holy, do NOT be fooled by her shy, cute nature. She has commited hundreds of murders all across the country.

Next,the prissy snob who keeps complaining about your clothes rather than your well being is Rarity. Element of Generosity she is, which I could care less about.

The last one, which you should know and stay away from, is Pinkie Pie, the Element of Laughter. Why should you stay away her I ask?

...

Read the fanfic, "Cupcakes" and you will see.

Oh and the purple pony is Twilight Sparkle and she is the Element of Magic. Oh sweet,sweet, magic. No really, it's fucking stupid. I don't have much to say except that she is known when she doesn't get what she want, she goes into a manic episode, so be careful.

They will ask you for your name and such but, remember my warning, I will kill you in your sleep if you give out any helpful information. If this is too hard for you, just say that you fell off a ditch and you lost your memories, it's not that hard.

Oh! It's night time! Twilight will offer you her "guest bedroom".

Before you go to sleep, discard this set of instructions and I will send you a new one.

Good night and go to hell.

...

**Wow, that took some time to do this. The reason why I have to halt the story because I need to edit it and I have a lot of stuff in my hands. Now don't post any hateful reviews because of this story. In case if you haven't noticed, I happen to like changelings, so deal with it. See you next chapter.**


End file.
